Funny quotes from My Name Is Earl !

Randy: (reading the list) Number 23. Peed in the back of a cop car.
Earl: I'm no longer proud of that.

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Randy: (to Earl) I think you're trying to sell a cat to a guy who fancies dogs.

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(After Kenny turns down sex with her)
Patty: I tried, Earl. I did! Towards the end I even pulled out my good boob!

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(Earl has taken Kenny to a gay bar)
Earl: I didn't wanna be the only non-gay there, so luckily Randy agreed to go as soon as he heard there were gonna be bubbles.

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Earl: (voice-over) You've probably askin' yourself why I decided to stay with my two-timin' wife and our two terrible kids that ain't mine. But, the way I figure, a lotta folks probably ask her why she hasn't left her good-for-nothin' husband and his brother who sleeps on her couch.

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Earl Hickey: I know this might sound crazy in this day and age, but we live in a small town and I've never been face to face with a gay before. I understand now the runnin' probably wasn't necessary.

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Earl: Ain't no use running, fool! I know where your momma parks your house!

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Referring to music playing in the background
Randy: Oh no you didn't. You didn't just go Old School!