Seinfeld Quotes - The Subway

"I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"
    - George, in "The Subway"

"What am I, made of money? You bunch of deadbeats!"
    - Elaine, stuck with the check again, in "The Subway"

"Looking for the quotes. Gotta check the quotes. Love a good quote."
    - George, trying to impress a woman, in "The Subway"

"Big brokerage houses killed my father."
    - George, still trying to impress a woman, in "The Subway"

"It's ironic."
    "What's ironic?"
"This. That we've come all this way, we made all this progress, but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties."
    "No, I mean, what does `ironic' mean?"
    - Elaine and woman on subway, in "The Subway"

"My luck. I don't talk to a soul on the subway for thirty-five years. I get the best man at a lesbian wedding."
    - A woman on the subway, talking to Elaine, in "The Subway"

"I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian!"
    - Elaine, in "The Subway"

"His mother was a mudder... His father was a mudder."
    - Kramer, in "The Subway"

"You realize, of course, you're naked."
    "Naked, dressed, I don't see any difference."
"You ought to sit *here*. There's a difference."
    "You got something against a naked body?"
"I got something against yours. How about a couple deep knee bends, maybe some squat thrusts."
    "Who's got time for squat thrusts?"
"All right, how 'bout skippin' breakfast? I'm guessing you're not a half-grapefruit and black coffee man."
    "I like a good breakfast."
"I understand, I like a good breakfast. As long as you don't wind up trapped in a room in bib overalls and pigtails being counseled by Dick Gregory."
    "I'm not ashamed of my body."
"Exactly. That's your problem. You should be."
    - Jerry and the Naked Guy, in "The Subway"

"Tell you what, if they win the pennant this year, I'll sit naked with you at the World Series."
    - Jerry, to the naked guy, in "The Subway"

"You can't just leave me here! Will I see you again?"
    - George, after being robbed by a beautiful woman, in "The Subway"

"Biff! What, did you whistle in the elevator?"
    - Jerry, seeing George walk into the diner wearing nothing but a sheet, in "The Subway"