Seinfeld Quotes - The Stand-In

"There's nothing to talk about."
    "Ah, what's there to talk about."
"Well, at least you and I are talking about how there's nothing to talk about."
    "Why don't you talk with her about how there's nothing to talk about?"
"She knows there's nothing to talk about."
    "At least she'll be talking."
"Oh, shut up."
    - George and Jerry, in "The Stand-In"

"If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all."
    - George, in "The Stand-In"

"I can't hide my pity."
    - George, in "The Stand-In"

"I haven't cracked a smile in months."
    "Oh, don't worry, you'll crack. Cracking's inevitable. First you crack, then you chuckle."
    - Fulton and Jerry, in "The Stand-In"

"So how are the eggs?"
    "Eggs are eggs."
"Eggs are eggs. That is very profound. By the same token, couldn't you say fish is fish? I don't think so."
    - George and Daphne, in "The Stand-In"

"If I was a woman I'd be down on the dock waiting for the fleet to come in."
    - Jerry, in "The Stand-In"

"I'm very good with sick people. They love me."
    - Kramer, in "The Stand-In"

"He took it out."
    - Elaine, after her first date with Jerry's friend, in "The Stand-In"

"Maybe it needed some air. You know, sometimes they need air. They can't breathe in there. It's inhuman."
    - Kramer, speculating on why "He took it out," in "The Stand-In"

"I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off."
    - George, in "The Stand-In"

"You know, George, they're doing wonderful things at mental institutions these days. I'd be happy to set up a meet and greet."
    - Jerry, in "The Stand-In"

"Rock paper scissors match."
    "Alright! Rock beats paper!"
"I thought paper covered rock."
    "Nah, rock flys right through paper."
"Well, what beats rock?"
    "Nothing beats rock."
    - Kramer and Mickey, playing games, in "The Stand-In"