Seinfeld Quotes - The Phone Message

"When women smile at me I don't know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it like they're psychotic or something. And I don't know if I'm supposed to smile back. I don't know what to do."
    - George, in "The Phone Message"

"For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks."
    - George, in "The Phone Message"

"To cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple because I think if they hear you chewing on the other end of the phone, it make you sound casual."
    "Yeah, like a farm boy."
    - George and Jerry, in "The Phone Message"

"Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year."
    - George, in "The Phone Message"

"Women don't want to see need. They want a take-charge guy. A colonel, a kaiser, a czar."
    - George, in "The Phone Message"

"I don't know what your parents did to you."
    - Elaine, to George, in "The Phone Message"

"It's a machine! The little light is blinking right now, 'Come and listen to the idiot! Hey everybody, the idiot's on!'"
    - George, worried about an answering machine, in "The Phone Message"

"I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it."
    - Jerry, in "The Phone Message"

"Tippy toe! Tippy toe!"
    - George, warning Jerry, in "The Phone Message"

"That what you had to tell me? Your father wears sneakers in the pool?"
    - Carol, to George, in "The Phone Message"